Blonde 23: Amy Schumer
Just saw her Comedy Central special and I love this lady.
“Plan B-izzle, who’s taken it…? Who’s taken it? …Oh, sorry, a room of heroes.
…They were like, you’re gonna feel nauseous. I took it. I felt fine. I went to yoga. I’m like: Can these people tell I’m, like, mid-aborsh right now?”
—Amy Schumer in Mostly Sex Stuff
Blonde 22: Nancy Sinatra
My friend, John (pictured in blue shirt and opening book), generously offered me the above photo for my series on blondes. Circa 1996, Nancy was promoting Frank Sinatra: An American Legend, a book she had written on her dad. Shown here at Toronto’s Yorkville shop, The Book Cellar, John claims she casually whisked her hand back and forth across the non-bearded part of his face. He won’t go so far as to say she was flirting though.
Blonde 21: Grace Kelly
“Blondes make the best victims. They’re like virgin snow that shows up the bloody footprints.” —Alfred Hitchcock
(Thanks to both http://emk-irl.tumblr.com/ and Damian Rogers for the suggestion.)
Blonde 20: Sarah Jessica Parker
I really hope blondes aren’t reacting to my book like this.
Blonde 19: Kristen Bell
“My mom gave her highlights for free, streaking her hair…. But Larissa wouldn’t let Mom cut her hair. She was very particular about that.” —from The Blondes
Blonde 17: Etta James
I think the song complements the themes of my book. Tell Mama, indeed!
Blonde 16: Madonna
“When she saw me, she froze as if she’d been caught at something. She was tall and pink-skinned with a short tufted hairstyle the colour of vanilla ice cream—one of those girls who’d gone all the way with the retro fifties look… I was standing there when the girl suddenly reached out and punched the lid of the garbage can. It swung on its hinge, screeching. I backed away, grabbing for the door handle, but the girl pushed past me, mad-eyed.” —from The Blondes
In Emily Schultz’s novel, The Blondes (Doubleday Canada 2012, and St. Martin's Thomas Dunne 2014), Hazel Hayes is a grad student living in New York City. As the novel opens, she learns she is pregnant (from an affair with her married professor) at an apocalyptically bad time: random but deadly attacks on passers-by, all by blonde women, are terrorizing New Yorkers. Soon it becomes clear that the attacks are symptoms of a strange illness that is transforming blondes—whether CEOs, flight attendants, students or accountants—into rabid killers.
With echoes of White Noise and a biting satiric wit, The Blondes is at once an examination of the complex relationships between women, and a merciless but giddily enjoyable portrait of what happens in a world where beauty is—literally—deadly.
EMILY SCHULTZ's first book, Black Coffee Night, was a finalist for the Danuta Gleed Award. Her recent novel, Heaven is Small, was a finalist for the 2010 Trillium Award alongside Margaret Atwood, Alice Munro, Ian Brown, and Anne Michaels. Her writing has appeared in The Globe and Mail, Elle, The Walrus Magazine, and several anthologies. Schultz is also co-publisher of Joyland, which publishes short fiction from across North America. A best-seller in Canada, The Blondes will release in 2014 in the USA. Schultz lives in New York.
